Self-Loathing

You know when it is really bad and you can’t see past all the things you have done wrong, or you haven’t listened to, or you didn’t get done? Those times when it seems like you are more of a burden and create more of a hassle for others than helping and taking care of yourself and your business? Yeah, me too.

When it seems like just emptying the dishwasher and making dinner are taking up so much energy there isn’t anything left to do what you wanted to get done. Last night didn’t see me clearing away space in front of the altar or getting my mediation/exercise space cleaned.  In fact it barely saw me feed the dogs and go upstairs. I did write some on my book, and then I read a little. I felt it was an accomplishment this morning to get up with enough time to shower. Yep, we all have those days, me included.

Since it was one of “those” day, I decided to count the things going right.  By the time I arrived at work, I was in a good mood and ready to talk with and help the teenagers who come through my life every day. While I am not infallible, and I have the same kind of days as everyone else, sometimes the fact that I got up and got to work on time, are enough to reset the day. Try to remember to count the small things: a shower, a matching outfit, you brushed your teeth, traffic was not bad, or you listened to your favorite podcast when it was, those are all wins, give yourself credit for them.

Hubby and I have agreed on a night out to dinner and a shopping trip to his favorite lingerie store. I have made sure this evening looks different, to help reset tomorrow.

Today’s tarot card: king of cups –

The personality of the King of Cups is a combination of the positive water energy of the Cups suit and the active, outward focus of a King. He is wise and understanding, with a deep knowledge of the world that comes from the heart. He is a teacher and way-shower who guides his students with loving attention. He cares about others sincerely and always responds to their needs with compassion. He heals with a gentle touch and a quiet word. He is calm and relaxed in all situations, seeming to know intuitively what is called for at any moment. Others turn to him for advice because they know he will listen attentively. There is always a peacefulness around him that others respond to. He is tolerant of all points of view and shows patience in the most trying circumstances. He gives others freedom to grow and develop in their own ways without asking anything in return.

In readings, the King of Cups asks you to take the kinds of actions he might take. For example: responding calmly in a crisis, using diplomacy rather than force, reaching out to help, or accepting a different point of view. This King can also represent a man or woman who acts as he does, or an atmosphere of caring, tolerance and understanding. In a reading, he tells you that his special energy has meaning for you at this time. Let yourself be inspired by this King in whatever form he appears in your life.

 

Seekers Need to Choose

As a mentor you learn that your guidance comes by helping your seekers on their path with your experience. You can’t force them onto your path. You might give them things that you’ve found helpful and useful, but they have to walk the path they are on.

As teachers we try to force kids to learn what we have been told to teach them. They don’t get to choose what they want to learn. We say here read this, learn this and be on our path of learning. We don’t say what would you like to learn and how can I make sure you get the necessary skills.

The problem is what we try to force them to learn can be uninteresting and disengaging to them. Occasionally  we hit a gold mine and they are all right there, and then for that brief glimmer you can see it…the learning, the engagement, the joy. It warms your heart, and then the next moment all that is gone.

Today I asked my kids if they could study anything what would it be? History of gangs, being a nurse, animation, professional …(insert sport).  So now I have a starting point, somewhere to connect Martin Luther King, Jr. to what they want to learn. A place where what I need to teach, meets them on their path.

Like those I mentor in Wicca and at Sacred Mists, teaching is a passion. When I lose my kids and I lose myself because of disconnect I come back to what I know best and who I am. So looking at my students as seekers changes how I approach them. Yesterday was a challenge. Today was a beginning.

Hugs and Love

 

While binge watching Grimm on Amazon and Playoff Football on network TV (with antennae) I managed to get 90% of my kitchen re-organized and cleaned. The coffee mugs and spices cupboard are left to organize and the stove top is left to clean. Anyone who knows me is aware of what a Herculean task this was. My oldest step-son came out of his cave for sustenance, blinked and said ” we have counter space, everywhere”. I responded “let’s try to keep it that way” to which of course I received a blank stare back.

I also made super yummy homemade mac and cheese on Saturday and a great smelling chicken tortilla casserole on Sunday. Now I’m set to meal plan for the week and try to get to the grocery store. That may be tomorrow though. We have plenty of leftovers and my youngest son has a concert for choir this afternoon.

Oh in cleaning I managed to sell multiple appliances for which I will get 1 appliance that replaces them all. So more space in general. This is super exciting. Once I get my new appliance I will have one more single serve blender I can sell.

As someone who loves to practice kitchen witchery I am always relieved when I purge and clean. However, I suck at keeping it that way and then I get overwhelmed. So what are your tips for keeping a kitchen that regularly feeds 5, and has maybe 2 that clean it, clean? Let me know because I could use the tips. I am thinking that in a few months I may want to hire someone that comes every other week to help with bathrooms and general cleaning. Do you have an outside house keeper?

I am most excited because with the kitchen the way it is right now I can also get, a water garden and start growing my herbs again. That was the major motive behind cleaning it as thoroughly as I did. Hydroponic Gardens for the kitchen are super fun and easy and fresh herbs are the best. Do you have one? If so do you love it? What brand is it? Pros and cons?

Okay. Off to check the casserole and get ready for the concert. May your weekend be blessed.