Healing is a Process

I haven’t pulled a card yet for today. I’m going to…and I’ll add it to the post before I publish. I wanted to just get a few thoughts down before I did anything else. It has not been easy. It has also only been a few days, even though we knew about 12 hours before the real decline that it was coming. I was able to process and be calm, call on the spirits to help him cross peacefully, and to bring healing energy to my husband and I and the house before it even happened. Even with my own beliefs, my own brand of processing, I realized late last night that you still have to grieve. My husband broke down as we were going to sleep, finally able to cry and let go some. This morning I saw that he was able to say thank you on the FaceBook post he had made, the first time he had even looked at it. This morning he texted me at work to say that he was “good”, and he even stopped and got himself coffee at Dutch Bros since they are doing a drive for the Davis Officer that was killed. It was nice to see/hear/read that he was doing a few normal things. This doesn’t mean we aren’t sad, it doesn’t mean we don’t still look for what is missing, but I am glad that he isn’t sitting on the couch not getting up anymore. To heal you have to accept, and begin to live each day differently. I think we are finally going to be able to start that…

What this means for me is that I will be able to begin the process. I went back to work right away, and needed to take care of them and be strong. When he goes to work this weekend, I will be able to allow myself to recognize the hole and the whole of what has happened.

I do feel derailed. I am still waiting on my High Performance planner to arrive, and with this as well I feel like I have been set back in my goals, my progress. I looked at the checklist on the whiteboard this morning and even the everyday tasks haven’t been done. Time to take charge again, and to allow myself the feelings, but not allow them to dictate my life.

I have enrolled in a course on how to be a life coach. It is self-paced, and I want to find the time to be able to get to it. I have my tasks for Sacred Mists that I need to finish up, and work on my 3rd Degree Course so that I can earn that title as well. I have plans, and none of them involved being stagnate or living in a house where the daily tasks fall by the wayside. Need to get things done…processes can take a while, but you can’t just sit and wait for them to be done.

I bought two new tarot decks that arrived at the beginning of the week, and I haven’t even opened them. Something I need to do…for me. I know what great things the weekend has in store for me. I am ready to get to them. I know that I am allowed to grieve, I also know that I can’t allow it to be all consuming, for any of us. Time to sage the house, burn some cleansing candles, and begin the process of moving forward.

Today’s The Universe Has Your Back card: I find a deeper meaning and personal growth amid the discomfort.

Intention: I will embrace the feelings and move forward

Personal Reflection: Of course. I don’t even know w hey I’m surprised anymore. I do this everyday, pretty much, and I’m still surprised when it happens, almost everyday. As we go through painful experiences, recognizing that they help us grow, become more empathetic, and allow us new opportunity to create what we need in our lives is very important. Don’t run from the pain, grow in a healthy, positive way.

I Control My Perspective

What I see, how I see it, what is makes me feel/think, that is all within my control. There is nothing buy my own thoughts, feelings, and look on the world that tells me how to see something, except of course when I allow those things to jade me. We often want others to tell us what they see, or to let us know when we see something different. The problem with that is that it can skew our own perception, influencing us to see things that aren’t there, or that aren’t accurate.

When we rely on our own instincts, on our beliefs to show us what is out there we are much better for it. This is how we can control the perspective from which things come at us, or with which we handle things thrown at us. If I want to be angry and negative when something changes, that is a choice I make, and yet I can also choose to handle it with grace and positivity, depending on how I choose to look at it. Do I see it as an obstacle that is unsurmountable, or rather a detour which is going to allow me to see something new and different altogether? Those are choices we make. Those are things we are in command of.

My belief in The Universe as energy and growth from all things being connected, means that I should be choosing to see what is truly there, and not just what I am being shown. Yet often I am clouded in how I view things. I allow the perceptions of others, the “truth” of what my eyes show me, to cloud what is there, rather than relying on why my instincts are saying, or closing my eyes and allowing the energy to tell me what is really going on.

This is an area of growth for me. Something I am promising to do, especially in my day job. Often times I glance over a classroom full of teenagers and I see…teenagers. That means I am missing the kid who didn’t get breakfast, or the one who just had a nasty breakup. I need to be controlling the perspective and trusting the energy that is being shown, if I open myself to it.

Today’s The Universe Has Your Back card: When I lean on certainty and faith I change my mind about the world I see.

Intention: I will trust the Universe to show me what I need to see.

Personal Reflection: “I need to work on opening my mind to seeing beyond what my eyes are showing me. There is so much more and if I rely only on my eyes I will miss what I should be focusing on. As I am listening to meditations while I drive I have discovered my commute is faster and easier, because my eyes are not the only thing seeing. Trusting the energy to guide my “seeing” will help me all areas of growth.

End of the Year Reflections…

I have this amazing friend, her name is Lady Lilyth. She is always introducing me to new ideas, deities, and things. She recently introduced me to The Universe Has Your Back, a deck of intention cards from Hay House (Find Gabrielle Bernstein’s stuff here). Well…they are more like reminder cards, but she had this great idea of turning each card that she drew into an intention. I loved it so much, that as I start this deck, I am going to borrow her idea.

As I go through the last weekend in 2018 I am realizing that I didn’t follow through on much of anything. I got a good start on a lot of things, but then I let them go. As I was thinking this and reflecting on the things that were great, but also on the things that really could have been better, I pulled the card “I do whatever it take to get closer to consciousness.” I laughed. I had a lot of good starts at this for the 2018 year, but I never let myself quite get there. For a reflection card it was amazing.

As I tried to turn it into an intention I wondered what for. I mean this was my reflection pull and so why did I need an intention? This caught me for a second, and catches me again as I type. Isn’t this the whole problem I faced for 2018? Why bother? Is it worth it? What is the gain from it? I realized as I was reflecting, I was following the same pattern I had been for the whole year. I do not intend for that to happen again this year. I am going to be better…even if I have to kick my own ass to do it.

So the Reflection Intention I came up with is “Whatever it takes, I will move closer to consciousness”. I am not going to allow myself to fail. That is what has happened in the past. Perhaps I have blamed others, or never even analyzed why something didn’t happen or work the way I anticipated. Not this time. This time I am moving myself forward, one small step at a time.

Here were my rambling thoughts on what I had pulled:

This is something I though of doing often, but did not make big enough steps towards. Most times giving up on myself,or not believing I could before anything could even manifest. I am good at beginning, bad at following through. There were some amazing moments in 2018 that got lost or lost momentum simply because I let them. This is my reminder that I can, will, and shall achieve what I want in 2019.

I have the Dragontree DreamBook and Planner for this year, I am working on my body through Pilates with Robin at the Balanced Life and with OmDaily and their 21 Day Goddess Workout and I am cleaning not just my room but sorting clothes, things, shoes and getting sacred space back into my life, something that has been missing as I have given up on accomplishing anything. This time next year, my biggest goal, is to be saying I accomplished all of this, plus whatever come after. I do not, and will not, be typing that I am doing all of these same things over again because I quit, but rather that I have reordered, or am doing something again because it worked!

Create Your Own Reality…and then live it

Often times we are told how we should live, where we should work, what is right for us, without anyone checking in on what it is we want. We allow others to create the reality that we live in, with little or no input from us. This is often the case with those who follow a “different” path in religion or beliefs. It is difficult when one does not “conform” to the holidays or the calendars of the societal norm. As we approach the season of Yule, I am often reminded of how intolerant and selfish others are. They focus on their wants and needs and they don’t create a space where everyone can feel accepted or wanted.

As we move forward in this time of year, a time often for reflection, and for growth, it would do us all good to look at who we are. Are we who we want to be? Are we allowing others to define our reality, or are we living what is expected of us? Are we choosing to the be best we can be, to be accepting of those around us, or are we falling into the same shellfish category that has put us in someone else’s reality as it is?

I am working on me. I am learning how to navigate the world outside of me in a way that allows me to be the best me I can be, and to not fall into other’s reality. I will do things my way. It isn’t that I won’t listen to the ideas of others, or incorporate them, or compromise. What I won’t continue doing is following meekly, allowing myself to be hidden or pushed off because someone expects something different from me.

This will partly include new clothing integrated into an already eclectic wardrobe. Pieces that fit who I am, and who I want others to see me as. So this weekend is purge the closet, keep what I want, shop for what I need. This will also include the continued cleaning of the house, and the making of candles. Those two things have actually been going well.

I will also be getting back here, and making the time daily to create space for tarot (which I miss tremendously), for personal study of the things that interest me, and for my own spiritual and emotional growth. This time of reflection is over, it is time for action. I am not going to stop being me, simply because others aren’t ready to see.

Here is my final thought…create your own reality, be you, and live where you want to be. Don’t let others dictate that.

Tarot today: Ace of Swords

“As the great bard said, there is nothing either good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.”

Core Meaning: An opportunity for a new way of thinking

I don’t hand pick these for the topic of the day. I always do a single card draw to help my day through. I did this draw after I wrote the post. This card is a gift. Be careful with it though, for it represents a new way of thinking, but if mishandled can disappear in a second. Take this time to reflect, to look for the opening, to act wisely, and to create that reality.

Tarot, Tarot and a little more Tarot!

So, I did it. I bit the bullet and joined the Tarot Reader’s Academy Summer School. That’s 13 Tarot courses on a variety of topics starting Solstice (June 21).

I am very excited to begin this next advancement in my Tarot journey and learn from a large variety of well known experts and practitioners in the field. The other thing that excites me about all of this is the sharing with you that I will get to do.

I am also going to start a 78 day tarot study and place it here. This is something else I am excited to be sharing. Beginning Monday, and the 77 days following, I will be posting about each of the tarot cards. Not until Monday because I need to go through my decks and see which one I would like to do this with. I only have 100 or so to choose from. I was planning on going through then this summer anyways, so why not this week/weekend?

I hope that as I study and learn I can pass new knowledge on to those of you who are here. That has always been my goal with the blog. I will be using meditations and diffusers with all I do, so you can still expect information on essential oils and blends, and great places for meditations.

Podcasts getting a shout out:

Tarot Visions

Stirring the Cauldron

Check them out.

Monday is as Monday does!

Yep, we have arrived at Monday.  I have discovered that Mondays come with their own unique set of issues.  One that I discovered today, language.  My seniors were finishing up their presentations.  Friday they had amazing presentations, great speech patterns, despite being nervous, and no language slippage.  Today…well let’s just say I had some great presentations that received poor marks due to poor speaking, inappropriate language, and slang!!!! Yes, slang in a formal presentation and project.  *sigh*

I know that the world is different for those who are younger, I teach high school and have for many, many years.  However, I also believe that if you are given a set of instructions, time to work in the classroom where questions can be answered by both the facilitator and those working around you, you should be able to create something according to those directions. Maybe I am just out of touch, but last time I checked, if I am asked to do something a specific way and I don’t, there are consequences.

After several false starts today, my students finally realized I was going to make them do their presentation until they met the guidelines, or they were taking a loss in points.  Most opted to re-do their presentations.  Some however, were content to just take a loss in points.  The understanding of why putting the work in to do something right, simply didn’t compute for them.

I ended up having to put a happy blend into the diffuser for my own soul.  In addition, I took several small trips to the outside so that I could let go of the frustration.  I took in the cool, crisp air and let go of the feelings building inside.  I have to realize I have done what I can, and continue to offer them the chance to grow and learn.  If they choose not to take the chance given, there is not much I can do about it.  Thank goodness I have a great green space right outside of my classroom door.  I can ground, center and come back in ready to tackle the next thing.

This weekend I accomplished nothing and it felt wonderful.  Today marks the beginning of a new week, and a new start.  I am going to stay the positive route, keep my mind and body moving forward and find some new blends and mixes for the diffuser.  Lavender and immune are still going at home as hubby still isn’t well, but I will be back soon with something new!

Today’s Tarot: Eight of Pentacles – Slow, steady work…labor intensive but commit with a sincere effort.

Happy Friday!

We have made it through the week!  Congratulations. Today’s oils are anxiety ease and breathe easier.  The kids are doing presentations so keeping their anxiety to a minimum and helping them take deep breaths is in order.

These are blends created by Eden’s Garden.  Anxiety ease is a balanced mixture of Sweet Orange, Ylang Ylang and Lemongrass.   Breathe Easier  is a healing mixture of Lemon, Peppermint, Eucalyptus and Rosemary. The two blend so well together and the classroom smells amazing. (Eden’s Garden)

The diffuser not only helps them, but it keeps any anxiety I might be having at bay as well.  I have done a better job the last half of the week keeping the anxiety at bay.  I’m not as productive at home as I want to be, but I think that may be the cold I am fighting off.  Hubby sounds like he has pneumonia, but he assures me it’s just a chest cold with head congestion.  I am doing all I can to make sure he is sleeping, keeping the air clean and not getting sick.

I have the same blends at school that I have at home.  At home I also use an immune support blend that is amazing.  That one is made by Ho’ola oils.  It has Orange, Eucalyptus, Clove, Cinnamon and Rosemary.  It is a sweet spicy blend that keeps the immune system boosted and the house smelling wonderful. Clove is one of my favorite scents, so I use it often, especially in the bedroom. (Ho’ola Oils)

Today’s tarot: The High Priestesses: the High Priestess can help you become more connected with the rhythm of the cosmos.  She is the female principle and reflects lunar mysteries. With her at our side we can begin to acquire the awareness and knowledge that there are greater forces at work in our everyday lives.