Seekers Need to Choose

As a mentor you learn that your guidance comes by helping your seekers on their path with your experience. You can’t force them onto your path. You might give them things that you’ve found helpful and useful, but they have to walk the path they are on.

As teachers we try to force kids to learn what we have been told to teach them. They don’t get to choose what they want to learn. We say here read this, learn this and be on our path of learning. We don’t say what would you like to learn and how can I make sure you get the necessary skills.

The problem is what we try to force them to learn can be uninteresting and disengaging to them. Occasionally  we hit a gold mine and they are all right there, and then for that brief glimmer you can see it…the learning, the engagement, the joy. It warms your heart, and then the next moment all that is gone.

Today I asked my kids if they could study anything what would it be? History of gangs, being a nurse, animation, professional …(insert sport).  So now I have a starting point, somewhere to connect Martin Luther King, Jr. to what they want to learn. A place where what I need to teach, meets them on their path.

Like those I mentor in Wicca and at Sacred Mists, teaching is a passion. When I lose my kids and I lose myself because of disconnect I come back to what I know best and who I am. So looking at my students as seekers changes how I approach them. Yesterday was a challenge. Today was a beginning.

What Is Your Role?

“The seeker sets the goals in response to their own needs, their own inner calls.  Mentors provide the perspective of long experience and study, help seekers understand obstacles, and make suggestions for further progress.”  ~ Judy Harrow, Spiritual Mentoring: A Pagan’s Guide

When reading this originally it resonated so deeply that I immediately highlighted it and wrote notes on all the people in my life I wanted to send it to.  I even sent it off to the Principal of a new type of school, as he doesn’t have teachers, only mentors.  It resonated with his vision, with my own beliefs, with those of so many people in education that I know, that is made my worlds meld.

This book is required reading for one of my lessons at Sacred Mists.  I am working on my 3rd degree Priestess course and my own personal callings have now been completely melded.  I am going to be saving money to start school online (as I mentioned when I began the blog) to be a pagan spiritual counselor and teacher.  I cannot even begin to describe the contentment in my soul when I began reading this book.

As a teacher/mentor I am always a seeker.  I think that is one of the most important things to know about those who have a calling for this life.  We never stop learning, about ourselves, others, things that interest us.  In addition, we want to share the knowledge we have and the experience we have gained.  We have a knack for it, and we look for those we feel we could help.  The nice thing about that is the energy we put out often draws in those who need us the most.

As I am reading this book, I am not even opening my lesson.  I don’t know what questions will be asked of me, or what I am supposed to be answering.  I don’t feel the need because this book resonates within my soul, within my energy and completes me in a way that I never expected.  I know the answers will simply be there when I need them.  The knowledge is now attained and I don’t need to worry.

I am also looking at my teaching for this year.  Am I truly doing what I am being called to do?  Am I applying this the way the students need?  The answer is no.  Not with my younger classes.  I can see what they need, but they can’t.  It makes it difficult when they don’t know what they need.  I am doing my best, and I am going to be looking at things with new eyes as I continue through the book, and even read it a second time.  How can I apply these to where I am and the students I come into contact with daily.

I need to view them as seekers, even if they don’t really know what they are seeking.

When You Fail

I don’t mean make a mistake and see it and move on, rather stop all things that are helpful or important and just…well FAIL! I did this last week.  I just didn’t do all the things I had been.  I didn’t work out, I didn’t meal plan, I didn’t write blogs, I didn’t cook dinner, I didn’t work on my personal or spiritual studies, I didn’t move.  I came to work, worked, and went home and well…sat.  Why?  I seem to have lost the motivation I had.

What caused me to lose the motivation?  Was it that I’m tired (because I am)?  Was it that I have a small infection somewhere in my body that is causing me to be more tired than normal (because I do)? Was it simply that it seemed like I was the only person in the house who cared to be doing anything (because it did)?

It could be any or all of those.  Do they really matter?  Nope.  In reality I didn’t do it simply because I didn’t do it.  There are always excuses that can be made, but the simple truth is that I didn’t get off the couch and do any of those things.  Some of them could have been done from the couch and I just didn’t get the computer out.  I sat and played games on the iPad, which has the blog app right on it.  I still didn’t open it.

So what happens now?  Do I keep beating myself up and letting it just roll into a big downward spiral and then life looks like it did a few months ago?  I could.  It would be so easy to just drift off into what I have always done.  That’s the easy thing to do.  It’s familiar, it’s comfortable and it has worked in the past.  Well, it has appeared to work in the past.  In fact though, it hasn’t worked.  It has left me feeling unfulfilled, like I’m letting myself and my family down and like I just don’t care. So nope, I don’t let it continue in this fashion.

Today is Monday.  It is a reset day.  Today I begin again. Daily, you can begin again.  If you feel like you totally failed one day, or one week, or even one month, well they all start all over again.  So just choose today as your start over date.  Today I will be blogging, meal planning, working out and just moving forward in the fashion that I want to move forward in.  It doesn’t matter what everyone around me is doing.  I need to do these things for myself, and for my family. My path of walking, the one that I follow for myself is one of constant work.  There is always something to be studying or to be learning about the Earth, about magick and about those who are part of Sacred Mists, so failing isn’t really an option.  There are people all over relying on me.  Time to pull myself out of the muck and put myself back on the path.

What do you do when you need to reset?  How do you gain your motivation back?

Helping Others When They Don’t Want Help

From students to friends to adults. How do we help those who don’t want our help? Such a difficult spot to be in, and there is no good answer.

In the Wiccan practice it is unethical to cast a spell of healing or help for someone who has not given permission. In the mundane world we help all the time without permission, even sometimes pushing ourselves into situations just to offer help. Is one better than the other? Is there really a right and wrong?  

As a teacher of high school students I am constantly placed in situations where my job is to help. Often students ask for help, sometimes I ask if they need help and sometimes I just sit down and help. Today I was in a meeting with a student and his mom (along with some other school adults) and we asked the student what more we could do. We had already been doing all the things previously outlined to help him and yet he continues to be unmotivated, unfocused and unengaged. His response “I don’t know.” This is a student I regularly redirect, stop by his desk and check-in, ask him to participate in class and get a blank stare. Yet, when asked if there was more I could do he said, “No. Ms. S already does all she can, I just don’t do it.” How do I help him? There is very little more I can do, and I can’t just let him slide and pass him, which I think is what has happened in the past.

I have a very dear friend who texted me this weekend because she was having a difficult time. She didn’t want to talk, said she was disappearing and that I should “run while I can”. She was easier. She didn’t want help in her kind, yet when I said “okay” and then asked what I thought was an off topic question to check-in, it led straight to the heart of what was wrong. Helping her became more of a conversation, and it wasn’t until some other things happened that she even realized the role I had played.

There is no easy answer. If you’re a fixer, like I am, this can cause undue stress on you. Migraines, lack of appetite, tummy issues…sound familiar? Learning to let go of things when you can’t fix them is an important skill. Knowing you tried your best and can do no more is how you know when to let go. It can hurt, but there comes a time when you need to take care of you.

Hugs and Love

 

While binge watching Grimm on Amazon and Playoff Football on network TV (with antennae) I managed to get 90% of my kitchen re-organized and cleaned. The coffee mugs and spices cupboard are left to organize and the stove top is left to clean. Anyone who knows me is aware of what a Herculean task this was. My oldest step-son came out of his cave for sustenance, blinked and said ” we have counter space, everywhere”. I responded “let’s try to keep it that way” to which of course I received a blank stare back.

I also made super yummy homemade mac and cheese on Saturday and a great smelling chicken tortilla casserole on Sunday. Now I’m set to meal plan for the week and try to get to the grocery store. That may be tomorrow though. We have plenty of leftovers and my youngest son has a concert for choir this afternoon.

Oh in cleaning I managed to sell multiple appliances for which I will get 1 appliance that replaces them all. So more space in general. This is super exciting. Once I get my new appliance I will have one more single serve blender I can sell.

As someone who loves to practice kitchen witchery I am always relieved when I purge and clean. However, I suck at keeping it that way and then I get overwhelmed. So what are your tips for keeping a kitchen that regularly feeds 5, and has maybe 2 that clean it, clean? Let me know because I could use the tips. I am thinking that in a few months I may want to hire someone that comes every other week to help with bathrooms and general cleaning. Do you have an outside house keeper?

I am most excited because with the kitchen the way it is right now I can also get, a water garden and start growing my herbs again. That was the major motive behind cleaning it as thoroughly as I did. Hydroponic Gardens for the kitchen are super fun and easy and fresh herbs are the best. Do you have one? If so do you love it? What brand is it? Pros and cons?

Okay. Off to check the casserole and get ready for the concert. May your weekend be blessed.

Thank You Notes

 

I was recently reminded that taking the time to hand-write a note of thanks, or thinking of you, is extremely important. Writing connects our bodies to our brains and our brains to our emotions. We often talk of journeying to get our feeling out. Well that shows in what you write.

The act of writing a note to someone, even “have a nice day”, makes you smile, makes them smile and reminds everyone that no matter how bad there is someone who cares. The handwriting, the penmanship, the ink color, all bring the emotions and sentiment to life. A typed email or text message is always loved and a wonderful sentiment, but the feeling behind a hand-written note…the idea someone took the time to hand-write a note, long hand, means so much more.

I try to send “love” notes, as I call them to lots of people. Little notes which say, “hey”. Erin Condren has some great notes which have a fun saying on the front and room to write on the back.

Here is a link:Compliment Cards

I highly recommend sending one or two of these a day. People truly appreciate them. I give them to fellow teachers and to students. The smiles and thank you’s and positive energy are well worth the extra time it takes to pick one and hand write the note on the back.

What about you? Do you like receiving notes? Do you remember to handwrite them as it gives better every and emotion?

Weekend Work

While binge watching Grimm on Amazon and Playoff Football on network TV (with antennae) I managed to get 90% of my kitchen re-organized and cleaned. The coffee mugs and spices cupboard are left to organize and the stove top is left to clean. Anyone who knows me is aware of what a Herculean task this was. My oldest step-son came out of his cave for sustenance, blinked and said ” we have counter space, everywhere”. I responded “lets try to keep it that way” to which of course I received a blank stare back.

I also made super yummy homemade mac and cheese on Saturday and a great smelling chicken tortilla casserole on Sunday. Now I’m set to meal plan for the week and try to get to the grocery store. That may be tomorrow though. We have plenty of leftovers and my youngest son has a concert for choir this afternoon.

Oh in cleaning I managed to sell multiple appliances for which I will get 1 appliance that replaces them all. So more space in general. This is super exciting. Once I get my new appliance I will have one more single serve blender I can sell.

As someone who loves to practice kitchen witchery I am always relieved when I purge and clean. However, I suck at keeping it that way and then I get overwhelmed. So what are your tips for keeping a kitchen that regularly feeds 5, and has maybe 2 that clean it, clean? Let me know because I could use the tips. I am thinking that in a few months I may want to hire someone that comes every other week to help with bathrooms and general cleaning. Do you have an outside house keeper?

I am most excited because with the kitchen the way it is right now I can also get, a water garden and start growing my herbs again. That was the major motive behind cleaning it as thoroughly as I did. Hydroponic Gardens for the kitchen are super fun and easy and fresh herbs are the best. Do you have one? If so do you love it? What brand is it? Pros and cons?

Okay. Off to check the casserole and get ready for the concert. May your weekend be blessed.